Logan Whitehurst - Ding Dong Medley Lyrics
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    Ding Dong Medley

    ACT ONE:

    Ding dong!
    Whatever

    ACT TWO:

    When you're born you can't move at all
    Then you learn to crawl
    (on your hands and knees)
    Then you learn to walk when you're one
    Then perhaps you learn to run
    Then you learn to drive a car
    You learn that it takes you very far
    But you learn too late
    There's no escape
    Except death

    ACT THREE:

    I'm the oldest man on earth
    I'm older than that tree
    I'm older than my mother
    And her mother before she
    I'm older than the doctor
    Who delivered grandpa's dad
    I've outlived everyone I've met
    Since I was just a lad
    Ol' Moses was my bowlin' partner
    He bowled pretty well
    But I'm still alive and kickin'
    And he's burnin' down in hell
    My life has been a good one
    But it's been a bit too long
    So I think I'll kill myself right now

    ACT FOUR:

    I don't like what you just said
    It was quite offensive

    ACT FIVE:

    The sun is shining in the sky
    Life is grand and I don't know why
    The biscuits were good, the toast was divine
    But just shy of bundt cake is where I draw the line
    Oh how I love you, you beautiful girl
    If I loved you more I'd probably hurl
    Your love is so sweet like blackberry jam
    Perhaps if I spoke up you'd know who I am

    ACT SIX:

    I don't think he deserves to go to
    That place where the good dogs go
    Cause I don't like my neighbor's dog
    He smells real bad and he went to the
    Bathroom on my front lawn the other day
    And I kicked him in his head!

    I am the president of the ASPCA and I don't
    Like my neighbor's dog cause he wants to
    Sue me now that I kicked him in the head

    My neighbor is a lawyer and he taught his dog
    To read

    Stupid

    ACT SEVEN:

    I love you so much, baby

    Ding dong

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