Logan Whitehurst - Monkeys Are Bad People (1999) Lyrics
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    Monkeys Are Bad People (1999)

    Hey, daddy!
    Haha, yes, son?
    I found a monkey, could I keep it?
    God, no, son! Get that monkey out of here!
    Why, daddy?
    Whyyy? Heh. Let me explain, son
    There comes a time in every young man's life when
    He needs needs to be coaxed out of his womb of innocence (womb of innocence?) Ah, just sit right here, son
    Your mother and I have been talking, and we think it's time you learn the truth
    Daddy, you're not back on the medication, are you?
    Son! Underneath all that cute and cuddly human-like veneer lies the seed of evil...
    But why do you have to sing, daddy?
    I know the truth hurts, but listen up. Here's why you can't have that monkey:

    Monkeys can't be trusted with your business
    They're sneaky and dishonest through and through
    Monkeys can't speak English, so they can't tell the truth
    Monkeys are bad people, and so are you

    Add a K to money, you get monKey
    Monkey may see, but monkey don't pay his due
    The love of evolution has its evil, evil roots
    Monkeys are bad people, and so are you

    But I'm not a bad person-
    There comes a time in a young boy's life where he must hear the awful truth
    It's just a monkey!

    King Kong was a monkey too big to be kept in a zoo
    Which is not a bad thing, cause he liked to fling
    Thousand-pound fistfuls of stinky old King-Kong poo

    That's disgusting, daddy
    Quiet now, here comes the harmonica solo-

    Think about the future/What if Charlton Heston is right
    If the monkeys take over, we'll be their slaves
    And, frankly, the thought keeps me wide awake at night

    Daddy, you're watching too much television
    Son, you better be careful, or that ape will brainwash you

    Monkeys make amore out in public
    Providing little children with a view
    They're lewd and they're indecent and there's nothing we can do
    Monkeys are bad people
    Monkeys are bad people
    Monkeys are bad people and so are you

    Okay, look. I'm gonna keep the monkey in my room. C'mon monkey!
    I'm afraid I can't let you do that, son. Give him here, I'll dispose of him in a proper manner
    What, hey! Don't do that!
    *various screaming noises*
    Get him monkey!
    My eye!

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